Life, writing, etc.

Faking it.


        You gotta love corporate America. The way they have their customer service reps do a big song and dance routine all in the name of good customer service. Make sure you speak with a smile. Show empathy. Solve it quick and make sure its fixed the first time. All of this is for the benefit for the customer. So they wont take their precious dollars to some other faceless corporation. Its all about the money and how to get the customer to pay more.

        I’ve have been doing customer service jobs for over 12 years and I’ve got this job down pat. I can bullshit a customer and make them believe I care about their stupid complaint or whining because it’s my job.

“I’m so sorry you can surf the internet, I’ll be glad to help you with that.” “Oh, so you’re getting slow speeds when you try to use your computer at peak times like everyone else? I know thats frustrating I’d be glad to help you today.” “So your pet goldfish died and you can’t call everyone you know to tell them cause you have no dial tone? I’m so sorry to hear that, you have my condolences. Lets get this fixed right away.”

        They tell us to speak with a smile so that it can be heard. Most people here can’t do it correctly. When they smile its more of a grimace and you can hear that in their voice. I on the other hand am able to smile brightly and have it shine through and no one’s the wiser that I could give two shits and a fuck less about their problem. Maybe I have been doing this too long.

        The interesting part of all of this is that it only translates to work. Maybe because its all over the phone and they can’t actually see me. If I even think about attempting to be fake around anyone in person they can pick it up right away. I don’t even want to be fake around real people either, which is good considering. I’m just tired of faking it anymore.

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