It is now official. I will be going to Las Vegas in November for my first real vacation. I say its my first real vacation because all the other times I’ve traveled it has usually been due to family get togethers. Are those vacations? Sure, but this is my first one where I chose the destination, I paid for the trip and I completely planned it. It’s just me and the world, and my friend Kelly and her fiance since they’re putting me up while I’m there.
Now the one downside to this is that NaNoWriMo starts on the first and I’ll be gone from the 4th through the 10th. I doubt I’ll get much writing down while I’m gone but there’s always the plane ride and the time at the airport I can use to write.
I’m really looking forward to this trip because I need it badly. With all thats happened I need to get away and immerse myself in some pure unadulterated fun. I really need to get away and be somewhere else so that when I come back I’ll have a clear mind and can tackle the things I need to do with a fresh perspective.
I’ve found something out about myself and its quite jarring. I don’t know who i am at my core. I don’t know what my base color is. I’m a chameleon. I blend in with those around me and match their colors. I’ve done this for so long that I don’t know what my original color is.
I’ve felt this way a lot recently but it didn’t really hit me until Labor Day. I was invited to a BBQ and got to see a lot of my friends that I don’t hang out with a lot. I wish I could but schedules conflict with being able to. When I was there I felt like the odd man out. Here are a group of people I’ve known for years. They’re all parents and are all married. It was odd to try to adapt to the surroundings there but I ultimately couldn’t do it. I was just there.
So I need to find my center again, to find out who I am without any outside influences. Hopefully when I come back from my vacation I’ll be able to do that. If can’t do it when I come back maybe when I move to Denver next year I’ll be able to.