Life, writing, etc.



So today is the first day of my vacation and it has been a busy and tiring day. The last 24 hours have been interesting to say the least. I got off early from work to gets some last minute laundry done. I got that started and my friend Pike showed up. He was taking Amanda to the airport at 4 in the morning and ended up coming over early. We chilled out and played some rock band. Amanda came home early and she finished getting ready for her trip. Fast forward to a couple hours later. I’m on my way to pick up my mom and drop her off at the airport. It was 4:45 in the morning. As I was driving down the interstate my car suddenly jerked then started slowing down. I dropped gears and then it started going again. Before I get to my moms house I notice that the dashboard lights were dimming. I reach my mothers house only to have my car die. I jump it with my moms car we get in and go. Not even a mile down the road I nearly loose all power. I quickly turn around and make my way back to my mothers house. We barely make it. We jump into her car and get her to the airport. By this its 5:30 in the morning. At this point I leave for Denver in 6 hours. By the time I get home its 6am. I try my best to fall asleep. An hour later I get woken up by my ex wife who shows up at my place so she can watch the kids while I’m gone. I tell her to let me sleep until 9. 5 minutes passes by, well it seemed like 5 minutes, and she’s waking me up again. At this point I’ve had less than 3 hours sleep and I have a full day of traveling ahead of my. I go back to my car, swap the battery and make my way home. I stop off at the store first to pick up some last minute items and get home. My friend Emily offered to drive down from Denver to pick me up and take me to the airport. She shows up just as I’m done with my shower. I hurry up, finish packing and make sure I didn’t forget anything. We pack up my things in the car and head to Denver. By this time is 12:30pm. I have to be at the Terminal by 3pm. We stop off for lunch and make another stop at Target and then finally get to Emily’s house. We have a quick cup of tea then realize that by this time it’s 2:30pm. It’s off to the airport where I arrive at 3pm. Check-in and security were fast and painless. I only had to wait 30 minutes before they started boarding the plane. The flight was fast and smooth. Once on the ground I got to see my good friend Kelly who was waiting to pick me up. I haven’t seen her in about 3 years. We’ve been friends since high school and we are old party buddies. We made our way to the carousel to pick up my bag which was pretty much waiting for me. I’m fucking amazed at how fast and efficient this airport is. Once we got to her house I could finally take a few moments and relax. We had a nice dinner and then we went to Fremont Street. That was certainly an experience. Well, now its off to finally get some good sleep. I’ve only gotten 6 hours sleep in the last 48 hours so I’m pretty fucking tired. I think I’ll have some wine first. Tomorrow looks to be a relaxing day. Some breakfast, a massage at noon, possibly a new tattoo and a movie. Saturday is when we hit the strip and at some point we’re gonna go see a show call Zumanity. I’d also like to be able to go see The Amazing Jonathan but I’m gonna play it by ear. I am sleep deprived and exhausted but even with the minor setbacks that happened I arrived unscathed. So far its been a rough start but it looks to be worth it.




Comics and Vegas

Tonight I will be posting the second comic of Coffee Raiders. I have taken measures to make sure the posting goes smoothly this time. There were some other minor edits that had to be made. I made a few tweaks to the site as well. Nothing major, just some house cleaning stuff. I’m very happy that the pilot was so well received. I hope that we can keep up this momentum and continually gain more readers with each passing week.

In other news I will be leaving for Las Vegas in just over a week. This will be my first real vacation that doesn’t involve any kind family celebration. I’m really excited about the trip because I will be able to see my old friend and party buddy.

We have a few things planned out. There’s the standard fare of cruising the strip, going downtown, gambling, seeing a show, etc.

One of the shows I’m going to see is from Cirque du Soleil called Zumanity. I’m told its part burlesque and part cabaret. It should prove to be entertaining. Also I’m finally going to be able to try In n Out Burger. I know that isn’t that exciting but everyone from California always raves that they have the best burgers so I will have to give one a try.

I will make sure that the comics do post on time while I’m away. If I don’t It might be because I was too drunk to post them in a timely manner. I’m going to schedule them ahead of time so that they auto post but that feature hasn’t been working properly for some reason. I’ll try to set up a backup plan in case the unforeseen happens.

Incase you don’t already know you can read the web comic at


Coffee Raid

Over the last few years I’ve started a lot of projects A few I was able to complete but most of them were lost to obscurity. They were all great ideas and I really did want to follow through with them. A year and a half ago my friend Robin came to me and wanted to try to make t-shirts out of some characters that she drew. I got the site set up. Threw down some money for the domain and set forth to make this a reality. It ended up on the back burner and we only realized this once the time came to renew the domain name. We decided against it and let that dream fade. Fast forward to today. In just a few minutes we will be launching a project that will have been able to complete.

Four months ago I had the brilliant idea to start a web comic. What brought on this idea is that for many years we would go out to a late night diner, have coffee and discuss whatever came to mind. We have so many stories that we find ourselves telling and retelling them to anyone and everyone we know or even don’t know. I realized that since we had all these stories that we needed to share them on a grander scale. There was talk of a book and even a website but the idea of a web comic seemed, to me, like it was the best way to be able to tell these stories.

I proposed my idea to Robin and like usual we started planning with gusto. I started writing furiously and once I had a few scripts I gave them to Robin so she could begin writing. We got a couple of comics done but things began to slow down. It wasn’t until our friend Amanda learned of the project when things began to take off. She kept us on task and got involved with promoting the comic. She even helped write some of the scripts.

So now after many months of hard work, great fun and MANY cups of coffee we are launching a project that we are proud of. I can’t wait to see the reception of it. I hope people like it as much as we do. And if your interested in reading it please check it out at

Viva Vacation

It is now official. I will be going to Las Vegas in November for my first real vacation. I say its my first real vacation because all the other times I’ve traveled it has usually been due to family get togethers. Are those vacations? Sure, but this is my first one where I chose the destination, I paid for the trip and I completely planned it. It’s just me and the world, and my friend Kelly and her fiance since they’re putting me up while I’m there.

Now the one downside to this is that NaNoWriMo starts on the first and I’ll be gone from the 4th through the 10th. I doubt I’ll get much writing down while I’m gone but there’s always the plane ride and the time at the airport I can use to write.

I’m really looking forward to this trip because I need it badly. With all thats happened I need to get away and immerse myself in some pure unadulterated fun. I really need to get away and be somewhere else so that when I come back I’ll have a clear mind and can tackle the things I need to do with a fresh perspective.

I’ve found something out about myself and its quite jarring. I don’t know who i am at my core. I don’t know what my base color is. I’m a chameleon. I blend in with those around me and match their colors. I’ve done this for so long that I don’t know what my original color is.

I’ve felt this way a lot recently but it didn’t really hit me until Labor Day. I was invited to a BBQ and got to see a lot of my friends that I don’t hang out with a lot. I wish I could but schedules conflict with being able to. When I was there I felt like the odd man out. Here are a group of people I’ve known for years. They’re all parents and are all married. It was odd to try to adapt to the surroundings there but I ultimately couldn’t do it. I was just there.

So I need to find my center again, to find out who I am without any outside influences. Hopefully when I come back from my vacation I’ll be able to do that. If can’t do it when I come back maybe when I move to Denver next year I’ll be able to.


Thoughts, Feelings, Friends

What is it about me that make me loved and adored by so many people who are my friends but when it comes to actual romantic love I have no one? In the last 11 years I’ve had 5 relationships. In all of them it’s ended up being a one sided relationship. With Sarah she left me knowing she was pregnant with my child and not telling me. With Michelle I left her because she was only with me for the kids, my support and her well being. With Stay she left me because she just wanted her friend back. With Stacy she left because her idea and my idea about love weren’t compatible and now finally Amanda is phasing out relationship back to a friendship because she does love me but she doesn’t feel passionately in love with me which is her idea of love. She loves me like a friend. I however love her passionately.

So I ask this, do I have it wrong. Is my idea of love so skewed that I don’t really know what love is? Also I’m still asking the question of what is so wrong with me that I’m not capable of being romantically loved. I know that I’m self loathing right now but its how I feel.

Amanda says that it’s not me that it’s her and she has a lot of reasons for making this decision. It makes sense to stop it now and hurt relatively less than to get married, live a lie and then have it come out far down the road. I understand this but it still hurts, a lot.

Now I get to look forward to somehow breaking this news to the kids. I don’t know how they’re gonna take it and it makes me feel like a failure as a father that I have, yet again, introduced someone who makes their life complete only to have things not work out.

I am and will be hurt for a while. It’s going to take me a while to get over this. I am, however, trying not to go back to my old behaviors of shutting down and blocking everyone out. It’s really hard to do this but I’m trying.

Amanda wants us to be friends again and I don’t want to loose her has a friend but just hanging out and bull shitting kills me because I’m in love with her but she doesn’t feel the same way. I’m really trying but I don’t know how this is going to affect me.

I’m hoping that it’ll make me a stronger person and that eventually I will be able to just be friends with her but you know us Cancers. We’re highly emotional and passionate people.

Hooray for Productivity!

So tonight I went out for coffee with Manna, my fiance for the uninitiated, and Cleo and had a great time. We had a coffee raid and had a blast. We talked about life, whats going on, what we wished we could be doing and what not. It was great. Then we got to work.

Cleo is the artist who will be drawing Coffee Raiders. i cannot tell you how amazing of an artist she is. She’s working on the story boards for the web comic and they are looking pretty good.

See for yourself.


This is just one of the panels that we’ve come up with. I’ve covered up the text because Cleo wants it to be a surprise for readers.

Now this is no where near what she can actually do artistically. We wanted to keep the comic look simple, that way she can draw them up and get them done more quickly. If she went all out this would look a lot more detailed and realistic.

We had a brilliant and productive brain storming session this evening. Manna also got into it and came up with some great ideas. So now there are three of us working on this. We’ve come up with 30 different scripts so I’m going to be busy for the next couple of days writing and revising them to make sure they’re perfect. Then I’ll give them to Cleo and she’ll draw them up send me the finished comic.

I think that with the three of us tackling this project we’ll actually produce something and follow through with it. Cleo and I are notorious for starting projects and not finishing them. Manna is excited to be involved and is looking forward to getting the site launched. I think she was the missing piece of the puzzle that kept us from completing anything we started.

So I’ve decided that I’m not going to be using iWeb or Rapidweaver because I’ve found that WordPress has a theme that is specifically designed for web comics. I’ve lined up a hosting service which is very reasonable and will be setting up the site soon.

Things are looking great and I can’t wait until we launch. I’ll post with a solid launch date once I’ve determined when the site will go live.

Stay tuned