In the blink of an eye everything can change. You never see it coming. Its odd how life is like that. One minute you’re you and the next everything you’ve ever known if changed forever. You don’t know how to cope or deal. You process it and try to comprehend it but you’re pretty much grasping at straws. I’m trying to comprehend but everything I was ever going to do has now been thrown into question. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what I should do. I could continue on with my original plans or I could make different plans. Things are different now and I’m not sure which would be best at this point in time. I’m thinking that I should just keep with what I have planned but I just don’t know. Funny how life works like that.
I’ve always been an artist. Whether it be drawing, painting, photography or writing I’ve always loved the arts. I consider myself a jack of all trades when it comes to art. I love all aspects of it. There is some art out there that I either don’t get or don’t appreciate but I think everyone is like that. I’ve loved art since I was a child. I loved looking at pictures, paintings, sculptures, etc. I would always be drawing or taking pictures with my little 110 film camera. This has continued on with me into my adult life. The art that I express the most now has been more focused on photography and writing. I love to write and I love to take photographs. Its what I do. Now if only I can make a living at it.
I recently found again that I love and miss writing. At the beginning of April I started a script and finished it before the month was over. I set it aside for a whole month and now I’m working on my second draft. I like that I’m able to look at it with fresh eyes and see what needs to be added, removed, changed, moved and whatnot. I’m very enthusiastic about it and my passion for writing has got me wanting to start new projects. I have decided, though, that I will finish my second draft before embarking on any new projects.
The first of the 2 projects I want to get started on is a web comic my friend Ro and I came up with late last year. I really want to start writing scripts for it so she can draw them but I’m holding firm to finishing my second draft before I do so. The other project I want to get started on is a compilation of experiences about live love and the rest. It will contain the life accounts of myself and 3 other friends about their love lives. I found myself starting to write it but then had to stop myself.
I am glad to know that I have found something to be passionate about again and I am going to take this further than I’ve taken anything in my life as far as what I want to do with my life. Its easy to write now that I have a muse and I am looking forward to finishing my second draft and getting started on these other projects. I think I finally know what I wanna be when I grow up. And I truly believe that I am good at this and will be great at it as I progress. Once my second draft is complete I’ll post it on my script blog http://almostthirtysomething.wordpress.com/ so it you’d like to read it you can find it there. My first draft is posted right now and I would appreciate any feedback anyone may have about it. In the mean time I have more pages to review and edit.
i feel like I’m in a creative rut. It really sucks because I really don’t like feeling this way but I always seem to find myself here. 3 weeks ago I completed my script frenzy challenge and I felt accomplished. I had completed something that I had set out to do and I felt proud of myself. I figured that I would take a few days off before I started with my second draft. Well here it is 3 weeks later and I can bring myself to write anything with my script. It’s really bothersome. I can’t stand not writing. It’s not even because I have no inspiration or idea on what to write, I just have no motivation. I don’t know why. I really need to get out of this rut and soon. Maybe its the weather. I say this because it’s getting nicer out and I’m wanting to do a photo shoot more and more. I’m going to make it happen too. I’m going to start writing again and have several shoots this summer if it kills me. Wait, maybe thats all I needed to do. Ok so I’m setting this goal out for myself. This summer, between now and the middle of August, I want to have completed my second draft of my script and have at least 4 proper photo shoots. Wish me luck.
I am excited and ecstatic today because I hit my 100 page goal. So far I’ve written 102 pages in less than 30 days and I’m not yet done with my script. I am nearly finished with it and plan to finish it before the end of April. I have a sense of accomplishment right now even though I haven’t finished the script so I should be saving this feeling for when that happens but I just cant contain myself. I’m also looking forward to the next script I plan to write as well. It’ll again be based on a true story but I’m gong to change the way the story is told this time. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.
So something quite interesting happened to me yesterday while at work. I was speaking with a customer that was pretty upset that she had to go through 2 other departments to get her issue fixed. What was the issue? A simple wireless password that she needed to get. She was complaining about being on the phone, already, for 45 minutes. I was quick at resolving her issue. She was extremely grateful and offered me a job. Now this isn’t the first time that this has happened. People say this all the time but they way this woman said it, I know that she was serious. Whats even more amazing is that she’s a director/writer/producer. She told me to send her my resume and gave me the website. Well I barely understood the name of the website so I didn’t catch it but I did write down her name. When I got home I looked her up and HOLY CHRIST! This woman has her own production company, worked or Paramount Pictures and has been in the business for 15 year. My jaw hit the floor. Now she doesn’t produce the kind of movies that I’m really all that into but still, she’s a major player in the industry. Now I know this is nothing but a pipe dream but I’m considering sending her not only my resume but also a copy of my script when its done. Who know’s what’ll happen. I doubt I’ll do anything like that but I just might. I’m not sure. Plus I really can’t see myself living in L.A. Oh well.
My script is coming along very well, though. I am stuck a little on one part and am trying to force myself to write but that just ended with me taking 5 minutes to write 30 seconds of a scene with dialog. I’ll try again tonight. I am at 80 pages and I’m feeling really good about it. I’m hoping that it doesn’t completely suck. There are a lot of movies that get made that have not only atrocious writing but the plot is terrible too. Take for example a movie I watched last night. It was called Women in Trouble. here is the synopsis.
“One crazy day in the lives of 10 wildly different women — including a porn star, psychiatrist, flight attendant, housewife, masseuse and others — forms the basis of this indie comedy from writer-director Sebastian Gutierrez.”
Sounds good right? Well it did to me at least. The beginning even was pretty good but that was it. It was all downhill from there. Some of the singular stories could have stood on their own as a good movie but they had to intertwine all of these stories together through the characters. It was so bad it was almost good but not quite. So hopefully my script isn’t as bad as this movie was. I like to think that I’m a good writer and that I can write better that but I could be deluding myself. However, writing is the only thing that I think that I can be good at. I never thought that I was a good photographer but I do think that I am, in some small way, a halfway decent writer. I’ll probably think differently once my script is done and I re-read it to edit it. To each their own I guess. Who knows? Maybe I’ll submit my resume and script to this director and my career will take off. I refuse to move to L.A. though. New York I could do but fuck L.A. Ah, one can dream.
Today’s pretty slow at work today so I’m taking advantage of this by writing more of my script. I’m proud to say that so far today i’ve been able to hash out 7 pages and the day is not even over. I am really enjoying where the story is going and it seems to have a life of its own. I know also have some more ideas to put into the story based on recent events.
Which brings me to last night. Amanda, Sandi and I all decided to go out to see the Peaks and Pasties burlesque show. My ex decided to invite both of them to the show as well. At first we were hesitant to go because we weren’t sure if drama would ensue if we did show up. From my understanding my ex is glad that Amanda and I are together because they are friends. Thats fine but that doesn’t mean I want to be her friend. My reasons are more that just the break up but I’m an adult and can choose whether or not to be friends with someone and quite frankly I would find the whole situation awkward. So regardless of it all we decided to go because I have no problems with my ex, I just want to be her friend. We had a great night. The show was awesome and we ended up leaving in the middle of it because I was STARVING. I just have to say that I love my friends. The discussions we have are fucking epic most times. So even though the night ended early it was still great. I’m glad that we were able to hang out with Sandi while she was down here, she’s good people. i also found out that my ex still cyberstalks me which I find kinda creepy. Oh well makes no difference to me. Amanda and I are in love and I’m looking forward to the future we’re gonna have together. It still puts me in awe at the fact that we ended up together. Life is good.
So we’re at about the halfway mark for Script Frenzy and I’m a little behind. This is for several reasons. First off is I’m not sure where to take the story. I had a beginning and an end. Its coming up with that middle part thats troubling me and I want it to have substance not just filler. Another reason why this is coming up is that I feel I need to change the story just a little. When I first started with this challenge I was alone and looking for love and thats what I was feeling so I put it in the writing. Other things happened over the course of the next week an a half and that helped as well. Well now I’m in love and I want to put that feeling into the writing however I’m having trouble integrating it into the general story that I want to tell I think I’ll finish this script like I had originally planned and then start on a new one when I’m done with this first one. I’m at 44 pages so not too far behind. Hopefully I can get some writing done while at work.
Now as far as this last week of my life I can only say that words cannot describe the feelings that I am having. Sure there’s joy, happiness, contentment, elated, awesome, incredible, amazing, and delightful but none of those words really capture what I’m truly feeling. Its only been a week since Amanda and I went down this road that we’re taking yet it feels like we’ve been traveling this road for months. We want all the same things in life and relationship and that I think is key to what will make us great and make this last. She taught the kids how to make rice crispy treats last night and had them do all the work. She sent me a picture of the kids making them and it made my day. I never thought that one day I’d be with her. Its funny how things work out. I’m am very glad that they worked out the way they did because I’ve never been happier.